Finding My Rhythm in Costa Rica

It all began with one shaky, exciting, breathtaking step.  I was scared; I have never been a good dancer.  What if I made a fool of myself?

But I took one step and then another and we joined hands.  A huge smile lit up his face, and I realized that I was beaming too as we began to spin around the room in slow, sweeping circles.

We moved together.  When I stumbled, he kept hold of my hand and we continued to twirl, faster and faster.  When we needed to change directions, I guided my blind partner, making sure we didn't get in the way of our fellow dancers.  With each new step forward, we were learning the rhythm of teamwork.

The music seemed to fill me as we danced, and my heart pounded with a thrilling sense of joy unlike any I had felt before.  And I suddenly recognized the absence of an encumbering self-consciousness that had always interfered with the incredible feeling of dancing.

Dancing definitely isn't one of my strong points.  I'm not very coordinated, and having cerebral palsy, which limits my flexibility, doesn't help.  But perhaps the biggest thing that has gotten in the way of my dancing in the past is my self-image.  Since I walk with a crutch and struggle to catch onto rhythms, I have developed a negative perception of myself while dancing that has brought on feelings of humiliation and severe self-criticism.

But my dance with one of the blind students at the Institute of Helen Keller in San Jose, Costa Rica, was one of the most beautiful experiences of my life.  It was one of several dances I did during Mobility International USA's Cross-Cultural Perspectives on Disability Rights Leadership Program.

As a MIUSA delegate, I took steps that I never thought I would take in the dance that is my life.  I twirled in directions without being exactly sure of where my feet would land, and sometimes my head spun with the things I learned.  But I wasn't alone.  Twelve other delegates danced along with me.

Like partners in a dance, we supported each other through the difficult, beautiful steps of a life-changing journey.  It wasn't always smooth, but when we came across steps that not everyone could take, we worked together to find new ways of moving forward.  As the music of our lives changed and we encountered unfamiliar beats and styles, we drew on each other’s strengths to adjust to each new rhythm.  We left judgment behind and held each other's hands through the twists and turns of many amazing, intimidating, fun, challenging, beautiful dances.

Before my adventure in Costa Rica, the opportunity to successfully twirl and sway in brand new ways only existed in my seemingly far-fetched dreams.  Never did I imagine that I would be spinning around a room in Costa Rica with confident steps and a huge smile.  

But on that trip the dance of my life changed as many of my deepest hopes became realities. I joined a team of people with whom I learned to dance freely and comfortably in ways I've never danced before. Taking that first nerve-racking step turned out to be one of the best moves I've ever made.