The Five Stages of the Exchange Group (Costa Rica)
We were 21 people from various backgrounds who suddenly found ourselves in some very unusual circumstances, and the way that we coped was to form a group.
The memories and the friendships that we carry with us from MIUSA’s Costa Rica exchange will last forever. To help capture it all, I wrote the following piece to share at the talent show and closing ceremonies, which marked the end of our Costa Rica exchange.
Maxine, our group translator, explained early on that there are five stages in forming a group. Stage one is “groping.” That’s when none of us knew what to expect from one another, or what we ourselves would have to put forth. For instance, our unexpected visit to the Panama City airport due to a storm in Costa Rica demonstrated that every last one of us could sleep on the floor. Dew might have needed help lying down, Pam might have needed help getting back up, but we made it work. We played 20 questions, dined on cheese sandwiches and learned more about each other than is possible in
any other circumstance.
Stage two of forming a group is “griping.” We’ve all done our fair share of this one too. Hats off to Melissa Mueller and Tina Singleton, the Exchange Coordinators at the time, for listening to it all. It’s not easy to travel in a group of 21 people each with varying abilities. At first, when it was time to get onto the bus, Frank couldn’t find the bus because he couldn’t see it. Kerri couldn’t get onto the bus independently because she can’t walk, and Jeb didn’t even know the announcement had been made to board the bus because Jeb is Deaf. We were going nowhere fast. Yet, once we learned more about one another’s abilities, things suddenly became easier. Zach’s eyes don’t work, but his body and ears function fine. Zendrea can’t hear, but she can see and walk. David speaks Spanish, can see and hear, but he can’t walk. It was easy to get frustrated, but luckily we moved into stage three before griping over powered us.
Stage three is “grouping.” In this stage delegates who walk became expert wheelchair disassemblers, haulers , luggers, lifters and toters. Those who could see became guides, and we all tried to learn more sign language to explain what was happening to Deaf delegates. Tiffany, Zendrea, and Jeb, the sign language interpreters and Deaf delegates, are all great teachers with amazing patience.
During our last week in Costa Rica, we visited the Bree Bree women in Puerto Viejo. It had rained the night before and the hill going up to their house was steep, slick and muddy. It was awesome watching our group maneuver together. I’m still not quite sure how we did it, but every single one of us got to the top of that hill with very little drama. As individuals, that hill would have been tricky to climb, but as a group we were able to do it. Tracee still has the mud in her wheels and Francesca’s clogs will never be the same but afterwards, Joann, the logistics coordinator, found yet another great Costa Rican restaurant where we had a fantastic lunch. That was great, because our group seemed to function better when we were all well fed.
Stage four is “grinding.” Grinding is each one of us doing what it takes. Before we left orientation in Los Angeles, we sat down as a group and discussed what we wanted to accomplish on our trip. Andre wanted to make new friends. Julie and Aaron wanted to learn more Spanish. And we all wanted to learn more about what it is like living in Costa Rica as a person with a disability.
The information exchange that our group participated in was incredible. Sometimes it felt like the same thing was said 21 times in 21 different ways but the truly awesome thing was that we were able to communicate ideas. I sat in awe watching Tiffany communicate with Veronica, although they both use a different type of sign language. Veronica uses Lesco (Costa Rican Sign Language) and speaks only in Spanish. Tiffany uses American Sign Language (ASL). Tiffany could translate what Veronica was saying into ASL while Cathrael, one of our ASL interpreters turned ASL into English, and Maxine translated that into Spanish. It was challenging, but it was accomplished. Knowledge is an invaluable tool, and we gained insight and perspective not only as it relates to the Costa Ricans, but about ourselves as well.
The fifth and final stage is “grieving” stage. That’s when people like me write things like this. We give our good-bye’s and hugs and our “see you later’s” and waves, and realize that the times when we felt the worst were the times in which we learned the most. The exchange experience was long and hard, and at the same time a whole lot of fun. None of us will ever forget the “Una Sardina,” song that Herman taught us on the camping trip, which stayed with us for the rest of the exchange.
MIUSA’s motto is an appropriate way to sum up the trip: “Challenge yourself and change the world.®” We pushed the envelope as they say, and I don’t know about anyone else, but I learned that my maximum capacity is a lot greater than I ever knew. We learned so much and were positively changed. I know none of us will ever be the same.
