Off to Japan: The Parents' Perspective
When 16-year-old Wendy Harbour first said she wanted to apply to go to school in Japan, her parents, Dale and Jan, of St. Paul, Minnesota, were reluctant. "Initially we tried to discourage her," said Jan. "Then we finally settled on that if she went for a summer it would be OK, but not for a whole year. We were kind of apprehensive because of her disability."
Wendy, who is hard of hearing, decided to apply to participate in a Youth for Understanding (YFU) summer program in Japan that would start after her junior year in high school. To fund her participation, Wendy eagerly applied and went through the selection process for the competitive Minnesota YFU Senate Scholarships. This process alone demonstrated a significant commitment on Wendy's part. Moreover, the extended application process period of six months allowed Dale and Jan to become more comfortable with the idea of Wendy going abroad, and it allowed Wendy time to take Japanese language lessons that would increase her ability to lip-read in Japan. "By the time she went through the whole process, and we saw how excited she was towards the end, I was so happy I started to cry," recalled Jan. "By that time, she really wanted to do it, and we wanted her to get the scholarship. So, we were excited when she got it."
Photo Caption: For more information about Youth for Understanding high school exchange programs, go to: www.yfu.org.
During the summer that Wendy was in Japan, Dale and Jan worried about her, but they did realize that the experience was more difficult for them as parents than it was for Wendy. Wendy wrote in her letters that it was hard in the
beginning, but her Japanese host mother was wonderful and helped her adjust to the Japanese culture and learn more Japanese. Her Japanese mother helped her put her Japanese language lessons to use by encouraging her to walk up to a vendor at the local food market alone and order the items she needed.
Photo Caption: Books that can help in knowing what to expect on a high school exchange program and/or about the customs and foods in a particular country can be found through bookstores and publishers, such as Intercultural Press, and libraries.
After she returned from Japan Wendy's passion for more international experiences rubbed off on Dale and Jan. "(The opportunity to go to Japan) broadened Wendy's horizons, as now she wants to travel everywhere!" said Jan. Since
Wendy's positive Japan experience, the whole family has started exploring other international destinations by traveling to Europe together, and Wendy has since ventured to Venezuela, Singapore and Malaysia. In addition Jan said, "We decided to become a host family ourselves."
Over the past several years, the Harbour family has welcomed international students into their home by hosting three German students on academic year exchanges. Through these hosting experiences and the positive experiences Wendy had with her host mother in Japan, Jan has acquired some cross-cultural insight herself. "Mothers are the same the world over," she concludes. This realization can help parents feel a bit more at ease when their son or daughter is far from home, yet a welcomed member of a host family abroad.
Tips for Parents from Parents
An important aspect of preparing for a successful experience is good communication with the exchange organization. Parents can encourage their teenager to communicate directly about his or her disability-specific needs with the exchange organization's staff.
Parents should expect to worry - international exchange is a great experience for youth, but it is often harder for the parents than it is for the teenagers themselves. Most teenagers will adapt easily. To ease worries, parents can help their son or daughter research the destination country to learn about cultural attitudes, local disability resources and the exchange organization's in-country support system.
Parents need to know that it's not always going to be easy for their son or daughter. International experiences include new challenges, but they also offer opportunities for tremendous growth and learning. If a teenager has arrived at the point where he or she actually wants to go abroad, he or she must have some level of confidence in his or her own ability. Teenagers who are interested in going overseas have probably already demonstrated their ability to deal with situations concerning transportation, school or daily living, so they are likely ready to use those skills when abroad.